Without Red

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Wrap me in a love that’s black, not red because I associate red with pain, no, it must be black because black is impenetrable. Love me with a love so black that nothing can tear my heart out and shred it to a thousand pieces like it’s been done too many times before. Wrap me in a love that’s black, not yellow because I associate yellow with happiness and for me, love is anything but happy. It’s emotional and nerve wracking and painful and if it doesn’t hurt it just ain’t love. On days like today when my insides hurt I hide beneath my blanket and let the anxious thoughts roll around in my head, rattling like tin cans blowing around outside in a hurricane and it’s anything but calm. Caress me with a love that’s black, not white like the cotton puffs of clouds in the sky, so delicate, so slow-moving, taking their time to make it from here to there. White reminds me of pureness and there’s nothing pure inside of me. The anxiety and depression and jealousy and rage leave no room for anything pure. There’s only room enough for destruction and I much more prefer it this way anyways. Adore me with a love that’s black, not pink because pink is for delicate, dainty, beautiful women. Women who are soft and tender and so many more things that I am not and can never be. Adore me with a love so black that I cannot see myself in it and who I truly am or the pink woman I can never be. Favor me with a love that’s purple, not red, ย purple is my favorite color. I think of loyalty when I think of purple and loyalty is sometimes hard to come by. Favor me with a love that’s purple, more than you have ever or could ever favor another because my love is like no other. My love is neverending and can help you achieve your dreams. Favor me with a love that’s purple and see that I will always be by your side, through good times and bad, through sunny days and stormy ones because I am faithful. Consume me with a love that’s orange, not red, but the orange of an inferno. Yeah, I know, fire is usually associated with red, but not the fiery intensity of my love. No, the love I desire can only be accepted in orange, an orange so brilliant as it rages out of control that you have to shield your eyes from it’s magnificence. Touch me with a love so colorful that I have no choice but to believe in it’s truth. Love me colorfully but please don’t scorch me with a love that’s red.

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5 thoughts on “Without Red

  1. I love how this moves from “Wrap me in a love thatโ€™s black…” to “Touch me with a love so colorful that I have no choice but to believe in itโ€™s truth.” It’s like the acceptance of love and/or hope. Very beautiful! ๐Ÿ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Great writing… Love the words and how they all flow together. Liked the part about the pink being for delicates – While pink is one of my favorite colors, I’ve never been much of a dainty delicate types – and I much prefer the deep darker pinks than the pastelly pinks ๐Ÿ˜‰

    Liked by 1 person

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