All those years ago, we stood at the edge of that cliff, my hand clinging to his, my knees shaking, our hearts racing. Or maybe his wasn’t, he’s usually calm, cool and in control. The drop was far, I didn’t think we’d survive it so I told him I love him. He sang me a song, softly of course because he knew how loudness spiked my anxiety. His right thumb caressed the back of my left hand as my palm sweated and cramped from clutching onto him so tightly. The breeze blew so faintly, yet I was positive it was going to push me off the edge prematurely.
We stood for so long, there on the edge, looking at the vastness of the desert in front of us. A wasteland, nothing worth saving, nothing worth recreating. The only way was for us to start over, completely, from nothing.
He rocked back and forth on his heels, so slightly that I wouldn’t have caught the movement if I hadn’t been staring intently at him, waiting for a sign as to where we were going next. The thought of falling terrified me but the thought of dying and passing it off as living frightened me more. I was so exhausted and ready for the next phase, the next act, the next life; I don’t know what I was waiting for.
I wanted to ask him if this was the right way but I knew he would only ask me what I wanted to do and that wasn’t what I wanted to hear. I wanted to know that this was what was right and that this what he wanted too. I know he knew this is what I wanted but he’s always been the type to wait for me to voice my own opinions, I think it’s so that I don’t feel as though he’s manipulating me. He’s always afraid I’m going to think he’s like the Other…
It happened so quickly, the air rushing around us as we sailed through the sky. I wanted to close my eyes because I was afraid but the world around me was just too beautiful. Birds flew past us and I felt wisps of clouds. The sun never seemed so close and the air up here seemed so much more unpolluted. It smelled like sunshine and Heaven and his shampoo and jasmine.
We fell for so long, yet it only seemed like seconds. I closed my eyes for a moment as the ground loomed up to meet us. When I opened them, he was next to me, sleeping peacefully. I ran my hands over the clouds that covered us, only they weren’t clouds, they were silky soft sheets and fluffy pillows. His face was so close to mine, his lashes fluttering softly as he began to surface from a deep sleep. It was so quiet in that apartment that first moment after we jumped, together, hand in hand. It was so quiet in my mind. My heart beat steadily. My hands didn’t shake or sweat.
We jumped and then we woke next to each other.
We jumped and then we awoke and stared at each other in awe, as if seeing each other for the first time all over again.
We jumped and then we embraced, his fingers lingering in my long strands of curly, black hair, my nails digging into his back as I clung to him.
We jumped and then we started the first day of our forever.
so that we could be brought back to life.