Zodiac

I scroll through my horoscope, only half of my mind paying attention to the words. The other half is daydreaming of what else? The ocean. I don’t particularly believe anymore in horoscopes, but they’re still words and I adore words. Mine says something about a career change and I won’t deny that my heart yearns to write full-time. I’ve already begun to imagine the rolltop desk I would have my notebooks sprawled open on, a lava lamp nearby, hypnotizing more than inspiring. Maybe with pink or purple lava. I’m a Pisces- loyal, creative, compassionate, adventurous, artistic, a dreamer. Is it any surprise I love the ocean? I really don’t trust horoscopes, I believe in faith and working hard for what you want. Sure dispositions may be instilled from birth, but life is what you make of it.

Until Him, I had always chosen the wrong type of guy. Too ambitious, too headstrong, too demanding, too arrogant, to self-absorbed, only seeing in black and white. It’s difficult for me to love and be loved by someone who is so grounded while my head is in the clouds. It’s restrictive to me and I used to find myself feeling as though I were always wrong instead of just in the wrong relationship. But He is a Pisces too.

Before Him, I used to twitch at my horoscope’s mention of love. It made me apprehensive instead of excited. It was the reason I stopped reading them. I won’t deny I always dreamt of love, even though I never truly believed in love. Not like it’s potrayed in books and films. The type of love I’ve always known to be true is one of convenience, one born out of obligation, love that grows over time, not a loud BANG! Nothing so glamarous as love at first sight. Until He came along.

Have you ever seen the Pisces zodiac symbol? It’s two fish, head to tail. One begins where the other ends, a circle. I like this idea. The two complete each other. It’s beautiful. This is how we are, or how I’d like to imagine we are.

He is everything I had ever hoped for in a partner. He is kind, gentle, loving, sensitive, dependable. If we were our zodiac symbols, of all of the fish in the sea, I would hope he would chose me again and again. He completes me.

 

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