30DOW: Day 15

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What am I doing. 

This is what has been going through my mind these past couple of days. I want to be a writer. I want my words to matter. I’ve got these stories burning so brightly inside of me, but I keep them locked up tightly because they are my truths- truths that I am always afraid are too painful for others to know.

I’ve been dreaming about the beach lately, only the dreams are more like nightmares. The beach is like a lover whom I can never reach. My fingers brush against the sweetness of it’s image but it always pulls back just when I am about to touch it. It’s painful. Without the ocean I am without peace.

But really is this true?

I’ve been wondering these past couple of days if I am doing everything I can to be a good mother, a good partner, a good person. I feel like I am, doing all I can I mean.

But really is this true?

I tell myself I will follow my heart and follow my dreams and do what makes me feel filled to the brink with happiness and peace. I tell myself that no matter what has happened in the past, I still have time to make the future even better.

But there’s always that question nagging in the back of my mind-

But really, is this true?

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